Angela Carole Brown is an award-winning author, poet, multi-media artist, and singer/songwriter, and is involved in the wellness arts. This is her space for telling stories, exploring the creative process, and courting the marvelous caves of self-discovery. All of which reflect the wellness themes of her new book, "HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN: 10 Principles for Reclaiming Your Spirit."
As spoken at Unity Southeast in Kansas City’s Black History Month commemoration, entitled “From the Black Church to New Thought” on February 1, 2024. An evening filled with music and attestations.
I grew up in the Black church. It’s almost a label — “Black Church” — as it doesn’t merely describe a church peopled with Black folk, but instead regards an institution uniquely of its own creation. Packed with history, much of which is trauma-generated, the Black Church has come to symbolize a kind of spiritual ablution & healing of the ancestral painbody, demonstrated in the exhortations, the dancing and shouting, and the speaking in tongues. My dear mother used to call it “gittin’ happy.” The Black Church is an unparalleled experience to behold. I was baptized at age 10, at Trinity Baptist Church in Los Angeles, under the ministry of the Reverend Elliott Mason. My siblings and I all sang in the Youth & Young Adult choir. For a brief time, as a teen, I was even the choir accompanist, as our choir director also happened to be my piano teacher, the Reverend Carl Johnson, and he believed in giving his students opportunities for growth and grown-up responsibilities, because in the Black Church you weren’t just raised by your parents; you were raised by the village. And to this day, Carl remains a force in my life. My maternal grandfather, the Reverend Felix Shepard, was a Baptist minister in St. Louis. My paternal grandfather, Prentiss Brown, had been a deacon at our church in L.A. My roots in the Black Church run deep.
There came a point in my early adulthood when I graduated away from the church; not only the walls of Trinity, but the church as an institution. Because I had questions. About everything. I questioned what I considered to be the fire & brimstone aesthetic. I questioned the very idea of a patriarchal deity, and an iron-handed one at that. I had questions. And my own personal experience was that you don’t have questions. You adhere. So I drifted away. And for a good decade or two after that, I lived with no relationship whatsoever to a church community.
Then Eastern Thought came into my life. The ancient Buddhist principles of the 8-fold path. The wisdoms of the Tao. Yogic practices of turning inward. Meditation. I joined retreats and dharma sits, led by Thai Buddhist monk, Thanissaro Bikkhu, of the Metta Forest Monastery in San Diego. I found great resonance with those practices. Still do, and always will. And it was during that time that I was invited by a friend to sing at my first Unity Church, Unity of Pasadena, under the helm of the Reverend Marilyn Roth, who singlehandedly brought my early church upbringing back into my personal fold in such a loving and beautifully metaphysical way that my heart began to expand in even newer and greater unfoldments. And what stood her out from the many is that though she blessedly didn’t sell the story of fear, as many Christian churches do, she also understood that rather than a reliance on feel-good salves for fragile souls, without the crucial first steps in any authentic spiritual work of courting the caves for exploration and excavation, the practice becomes precious rather than revolutionary. I loved her for that.
And before I knew it, I was singing and communing with the many Science of Mind and Unity communities around L.A. In addition to Unity of Pasadena, two other churches I also call home are the Center for Spiritual Living Granada Hills, under the Reverend Michael McMorrow, and the Center for Spiritual Living Simi Valley, under the Reverend Stephen Rambo, who both entrusted me with their choirs, and who have lifted me up always. And what all three of those churches have in common is that they are New Thought. New Thought has this tiny gem of an idea that God isn’t outside of us, and only reachable through a prism of dogma. God is the power within every cell and every molecule, living and demonstrating through every thing and every one.
I was chatting with a friend not long ago, and I mentioned my involvement with New Thought, and he, a very devout Christian traditionalist, reacted to the term, which he had never heard before, with “New Thought, huh? Like, as opposed to the Old Thought?” And his question betrayed a concern that his religious beliefs were now considered old and dusty. And my response to him was: “No. Not as opposed to. There is space for all of the voices out here trying to make sense of this baffling world we live in, and the immense responsibility we have, to wear these flesh uniforms and do our duty of making our connections with each other. And toward that goal, one size doesn’t fit all.”
We are all connected, not separated. Not by religious labels, the color of our garments, the flag we wave. And for me, this is what New Thought holds as its essence. A welcoming of the mighty forces, many, for us to ponder, consider, examine. Even question. What New Thought has actually done for me is allow me to draw my childhood church experience back into my embrace, after all of the years away, and to think of that puberty in my life with a new set of eyes. When I examine my life today, and the Black Church in which I was raised, I realize I never truly left it, as I have taken with me into the rest of my life its uniquely roof-raising music. Its impenetrable sense of community. And I have taken its Christ Consciousness with me into the rest of my life, to sit right alongside the Buddha Consciousness. The Tao Consciousness. The Abrahamic Consciousness. The Pagan Consciousness. For the first time in my life, this past holiday season, I actually commemorated the 7 days of Kwanzaa. It just spoke to me to do so, out of the blue, and was a deeply meaningful experience. This is how Spirit, or Source, or God, works. It integrates. Not segregates.
Three years ago I moved to Kansas City, where I had no family, and knew no one. It happened right at the beginning of global lockdown. And after a few months here, getting my footing, finding a job, and all in a locked-down environment, I decided to try and find the New Thought here. I actually just Googled it, and started calling numbers. And everything was closed. Except for Unity Southeast in Kansas City, under the helm of the Reverend Randy Fikki. It was still open, though with the strictest policies of temperature tests at the door, mask mandates, social-distance seating, and hand-sanitizer everywhere you turned. But it was still operating, I came to learn, because of its unwavering ministry to the houseless community, which didn’t stop needing help just because a pandemic had arrived. In that instant, I kind of fell in love. And I was welcomed in, embraced so fully and so instantly. And I knew I was home. One of many.
Part of writing this has been to recognize the importance of roll-calling all of the spiritual leaders who have been pivotal and vital to my life and personal growth. That’s why the litany of names and shout-outs to the Pastors, the Monks, the Teachers, who have shaped me, lit a fire under me, tempered my pain, and still aid me in finding my way in this world. Because — again — this is how the majesty of it works. It integrates. Not segregates.
Hope and Crosby never made a road picture like this!
I wholeheartedly salute two extraordinary young women whom I had the honor to encounter nearly two years ago. They are Holli Rae and Sara Landas, and they have been in the midst of filming their documentary The Goddess Project for some three years now. Their credo: “To set our fears aside, and film other women who are doing the same.”
The film’s premise is simple, yet their journey to make it was a life-changing one for them. It is an intimate look, through interviews, into the lives and inspiration of over 100 women across America, each speaking and baring their souls in a very personal way about their struggles, their inspirations, their contributions, on everything from sisterhood, family, and overcoming fears, to spirituality, aging, body image and sexuality, and speaking in such an honest and disclosing way, toward the purpose of demonstrating real and diverse role models for women of all ages to see and to experience, and to bridge the gaps that have sometimes separated us.
THE STORY
In 2012 Holli and Sara left all of their comforts behind, acquired a vegetable oil-powered school bus (decking it out as only goddesses can!) and took a leap of faith, embarking on a remarkable journey across the US in search of women from every walk of life – artists, activists, mothers, sisters, academics, businesswomen, scholars – all eager to share their stories.
I came across these two lights, or they came across me, because Sara’s dad is a friend and colleague of mine. They came to my home bearing a bouquet of beautiful blooms, and carrying on them their cameras and their great big hearts, and we had a ball talking about life as women, and even shedding a few tears. I believe L.A. was the first wing of their journey, so little did they know at that moment what amazing adventures and encounters were awaiting them.
“Everywhere we stopped, whether it was at a coffee shop or rest stop,
we were amazed by the number of people who wanted us to meet
an inspiring woman in their life . . . This film presents an intimate look at the
universal concerns that we face as women through groundbreaking dialogue . . .”
– Holli & Sara
10,000 miles later, they had amassed hundreds of hours of footage, and had experienced the time of their lives. After the honor of being one of their interviewees, I caught up with them recently, in the midst of their post-production tasks, and asked if they wouldn’t mind being on the other end for a moment.
* * *
ACB:
How did you two meet? And did the idea for this film come out of your blossoming friendship, or did one of you have the idea first, and through or because of the idea met the other?
H&S:
We met in the summer of 2008 on a mountain top! Through sharing stories and making art together, our connection quickly developed into the most co-creative friendship we had ever experienced. As our bond became stronger and our dreams became bolder, we started meeting so many other inspiring women who were also on a path to pursuing their dreams. Meeting these ladies and hearing about their unique journeys of self-discovery inspired us to create The Goddess Project. We saw a need for more empowering stories like theirs in the media and instantly started envisioning how we could share them with the world. We decided to sell everything that we owned, and launched a Kickstarter campaign to raise enough money to fund the production of the project. We promised each other that even if the campaign wasn’t successful, we would still hit the road and find a way to make it work. Our minds were blown away by the incredible people who showed up to help make this film possible. Over 100 people from around the world donated to help us start the project.
Then something even more magical happened! We met a man named Chirp at a music festival, told him about our project, and he offered to give us his vegetable oil-powered bus! Neither of us had ever been given a gift like this from a total stranger, so this act of kindness absolutely blew our minds. This incredibly generous gift was a huge game changer. Then we serendipitously connected with an incredible artist named Michelle Robinson through Tumblr who donated her time to help us transform a little brown school bus into a beautiful, inspiring art car. So we packed our lives into The Goddess Bus and hit the road with two suitcases, our camera equipment, and no idea what we would find!
ACB: Well, we love Chirp! Our angels do come to us in the most unexpected ways, don’t they? And Michelle’s bus art is just so breathtaking in that powerful Sacred Feminine tradition.
As an artist, myself, I find that the ideas I come up with for a book, or a song, or a painting, are usually coming from a place in my soul of lack or need, a hole to be filled, in a sense. Where do you think this idea of interviewing inspiring women came from?
H&S:
We felt frustrated by the constant bombardment of the same stereotypical roles of women in the media. We wanted to see a broader spectrum of female role models, so we decided to put our heads together and come up with a solution!
Movies play a huge role in shaping culture and we need to see more films that empower women rather than perpetuating negative stereotypes and limiting beliefs. We don’t need any more distorted versions of reality telling us that we are not good enough. We are perfect as we are, and more films need to encourage that! We are creating The Goddess Project to remind women of all ages that they are strong, beautiful, and capable of achieving anything they set their minds to!
ACB:
What were you hoping to discover in talking to women across the country, and were your hopes and expectations answered? Or did you find that conversations went in completely different directions than you had planned?
H&S:
We wanted to see what women across America are passionate about, and to discover how similar we all are in our differences. We wanted to know what it’s like to be who they are, and hear about what they have overcome to get there. We wanted to know what their fears are, what they love about themselves, and what they hope to see and become in the future.
We hoped that we would be able to find women who were willing to be open, honest, and real . . . and we ended up finding over a hundred of them! We sat with women from all walks of life; at dinner tables, coffee shops, on horseback, and in parks; to talk about what they felt most called to share. We interviewed artists, mothers, healers, business women, and scholars about the life-changing experiences that shaped them to become who they are today. We talked about everything under the sun, and almost every interview ended in tears.
We learned that many of our fears and obstacles are the same. We learned that women across America want to feel connected and understood. We learned that every story is profound, and that women are ready for more representation. We learned that women across the country are dedicated to bettering themselves and the world around them.
ACB:
As young women, yourselves, looking for positive role models from just such women as you describe, how important was the older demographic among the ones you encountered? And what gold did you get from the younger women? And what ended up being the age range of everyone you interviewed?
H&S: Well, so much gold! We ended up interviewing women from the ages of 18-90! The older women we spoke with absolutely blew our minds because they have come so far and have so much insightful wisdom to share. The younger women inspired us as well because they were so dedicated to pursuing the life of the dreams. Each woman taught us something new about ourselves and the world that we had never seen before. It was an amazing experience to be able to travel from city to city, hearing the collective voices of women and seeing the amazing things that they are doing in their homes and communities!
ACB:
I’ve been following this journey, and it’s been very exciting! In seeing the clips, the beautiful teasers, in the trailers that you’ve made over the past year, I’ve been especially moved by how you left no social demographic out of the loop. As an African-American woman, myself, in this society, it isn’t uncommon for me to feel, at times, a bit left out of the cultural conversation. And, of course, I had the honor of being one of your interviewees! And I have to say, I was completely struck, as I followed your journey, by how much you were so all-inclusive of the radiant array of women of every heritage, station, vocation, age, and every other social orientation. Can you please speak a bit on that? Was it conscious on your part, or were you just walking this path with hearts so open that . . . well, let me let you finish the thought.
H&S: We embarked on this journey with open hearts and planned to interview as many of the most diverse women as we could find. We definitely made a conscious effort to be all-inclusive when it came to our interviewees because we know that all women out there are seeking inspiration and in most of the media, women, especially those of color, are lacking representation.
As we made our way across the country, we ended up finding women in the most serendipitous and magical ways. Initially we reached out to them through the internet and by word of mouth, but as we traveled from city to city our brightly painted bus became a magnet that attracted amazing women everywhere we went! At each destination we were approached by women from all walks of life who felt called to share their stories. Having the opportunity to connect with all of these unique women opened our minds to so many different perspectives, and as we got to know each of them we also realized just how similar so many of our fears and obstacles are. We learned that although each of our individual journeys looks so different from the outside, there are similar threads that connect us all. We are so excited to weave this beautiful web of women’s stories together, so that we can bridge the gaps that separate us from one another and inspire people everywhere to create positive change in their own lives!
ACB:
Please talk a little, if you don’t mind, about some of the more unexpected things that occurred on your journey. Any interesting hurdles? Especially considering that you were living on the most menial of resources.
H&S:
We both love camping and road trips, so going into the journey we weren’t too worried about life on the road! That said, the reality of living for 6 months in an amenity-free bus (sometimes in 100 degree heat) ended up being a lot more challenging at times than we had anticipated! Most of our showers consisted of baby wipes and Dr. Bronner’s, and we spent a lot of time peeing in cups if there wasn’t a bathroom nearby. We quickly learned how to live off just the bare necessities, but also discovered how many amazing people there are out there ready and willing to help you out in a time of need! One night, we found ourselves trying to get some sleep in our bus in New Orleans when it was still blazing hot outside and we were in a bad part of town, so we had to keep the windows shut. We lay there pouring water on ourselves, wondering if we could survive the night in that kind of heat. Suddenly there was a knock at our door. It was a woman we had met earlier that day who insisted we come stay with her. We followed her back to her place just down the street and had a beautiful night’s sleep in her air-conditioned den. Everyday we faced new hurdles as we stepped into the unknown, but we stayed open and our intuitions always led us right where we needed to be!
ACB: Was there anything that scared you about taking on a vision as monumental as this? Doubts, at any point, about the leaps of faith you were taking, not only to go on this journey, but the leaps of faith in each other?
H&S:
From the very moment we made the decision that this is what we were going to do, we committed wholeheartedly to it! We did have our fears about taking on something this big, but we made the choice that no matter how things unfolded, whether we rallied the support or not, we were going to make this film happen! Three years into the journey and we can definitely say we had no idea how much work was going to go into bringing this film to life, but everyday we work together to keep our vision strong. When one of us is feeling doubtful or overwhelmed, the other one is always there reminding us of the importance of this project and why we have to keep pushing forward! Taking on something this big is a lot more manageable when you’re sharing the weight with your best friend!
ACB:
SERIOUSLY amen! Who have been your personal heroes, who have helped to build you into the strong young women you are today? Either personal, or in history? And why?
H&S:
One of our personal heroes is Eve Ensler. From her playwriting to her global activism, she is a force of nature! She is a woman who has devoted her life to being a voice of change, and an example of how instrumental just one person can be in changing the lives of so many! We were lucky enough to have her reach out to us when we were about half way through the journey, and her organization One Billion Rising became a producer of the film! We are so honored to have her on board, she is such an inspiration to us!
ACB:
Eve Ensler is truly a special being on the planet. You’re definitely speaking my language. So, what is ultimately the legacy you’d like to leave?
H&S:
There is this great quote by Albert Pine: ” What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world is immortal.” We want to use what little time we have in this life to use the talents we have to create art that helps raise the consciousness on the planet and empowers others to overcome their fears and live the lives of their dreams!
ACB:
You two are an inspiration, and the world needs to know about The Goddess Project. I have felt incredibly humbled to have had some small part in this, and to have been able to watch it grow beyond all expectation, as your journey unfolded. I raise my proverbial glass to you two bright beacons for change and liberation, Holli Rae and Sara Landas. Thank you so much for chatting with me.
* * *
THE GOAL
The larger goal, of course, is the film itself, and everything that it stands to shift in our consciousness. But the immediate goal is one that can use our help. Holli and Sara have a Kickstarter campaign in the works, to help raise enough money to complete the post-production on a film that is truly important and needs to be out there. If you’re feeling even the slightest bit philanthropic ($1 even!), I urge you to consider being a part of this game-changing, transformational project. You honestly couldn’t choose a nobler investment. The deadline to raise their pledge is Friday, Aug 22, 2014, 3:33 PM PDT.
If NOTHING ELSE, please take 4 minutes to watch this newest trailer, and I defy you to not be inspired.
Congratulations to Sara and Holli for successfully reaching their funding goal! It was all because of you, the supporters. That means there will be an extraordinary film coming our way in 2015. Brava, ladies! And bravo to all the philanthropists who made it possible.
Angela Carole Brown is the author of three published books, The Assassination of Gabriel Champion, The Kidney Journals: Memoirs of a Desperate Lifesaver, and Trading Fours, and has produced several albums of music and a yoga/mindfulness CD. Bindi Girl Chronicles is her writing blog. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram & YouTube.
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