Why didn’t I think to post pics this entire time! Today is quite possibly the most energetic day I’ve had in some long time, so I’ve just been bopping around my house juicing and taking pics like a madwoman. But I’ll only inflict this one on you.
My yummy watermelon and ginger from yesterday just HAD to have a revisit today.
Especially after the disappointing green batch I made this morning. Here I am on Day 9, when all experiments should’ve been perfected by this point, and today’s was the least palatable batch yet. AND, I was stuck with it, because today I worked my office job, took my jug o’ juice with me, and my sippy cup, and hadn’t bothered to do a taste test before I left home. I wouldn’t exactly say it was vile; it was just really pungent and bitter. It was more of the dandelion and chard from yesterday, which are pretty bitter greens anyway, but I’d already successfully used that combo, so it must’ve been just an unfortunate ratio of the greens with my apples and lemon. In any case, each sip was met with a grimace, but it’s all I had to fuel me for the day.
Thankfully my boss came to the rescue with some pineapple slices she had, and a blender, and I got the chance to rescue the rest of the batch. Thanks, Karla!
So you can see my need to come home to a wine glass filled with… (any other time in my life, that sentence would be finished with “a nice cab”)….my watermelon elixir.
Okay, I lied, here’s one more pic. Man, I have a lot of energy right now. Hyper, party of one! My little Zen girl certainly has a thing or two to teach me about meditation, doesn’t she? Look at that focus. Yeah, I’m pretty hyper.
In all seriousness, my meditation this morning was a doozy! It seemed to ring with themes of forgiveness. But I was a good long way into it, as I wondered whom I needed to be forgiving in my life, or whom I’m needed to be asking forgiveness from, before I was suddenly hit with the dawning that the answer to both was ME. Forgiving myself the difficult realities about myself. We all have them, don’t we? Those pesky little “difficult realities.” We try to buff them up, better them, put a little spit shine on them. Or we try to tuck them away and pretend they aren’t there. We rationalize them, justify them, or we self-berate. But it really all comes down to this: We can transform, evolve, improve who we are, learn something new every day, open our hearts, practice compassion, and yet at the end of the day we are not perfect specimens. We aren’t designed to be. And so all of those rough edges, the warts, the fears and defenses that still insist on lingering there, even with all the soul work we may do….that’s where forgiveness comes in. That’s where we’re tested to see if we can love and embrace the shadow as well as the benevolent characters in our personal army. Because they all have a role to play in shaping who we are, and how we walk in the world. They all have a lesson to offer.
And by no means am I saying don’t do the work. We should always be working toward transformation. Just don’t forget the self-forgiveness. It’s a pretty powerful ingredient in the recipe. Without it, it’s kind of like my bitter green juice today …. something vital missing.
And finally to recognize that we’re always evolving, and so wherever we are on the path is the right place to be for that moment. That’s a HUGE one for me. A mountain. And not just any mountain. Everest.
So the work continues.
Angela Carole Brown is the author of three published books, The Assassination of Gabriel Champion, The Kidney Journals: Memoirs of a Desperate Lifesaver, and Trading Fours, and has produced several albums of music and a yoga/mindfulness CD. Bindi Girl Chronicles is her writing blog. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram & YouTube.