Love Letter To His New Donor (a summoner’s aubade)

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Dearest friend,

May I call you this? We’ll soon both be
members of a cherished club,
and as such I feel, already, a kinship.
As I write this, the mouths of the
purple morning-glories beyond my window
are achingly gaped,
singing your praises I like to think,
knowing you are coming,
and the sun is brilliant, almost white,
on this late-winter morning
after a week of sunless rain.
You are coming. This I know.
And I feel hope, which scares me some.

I am grateful and sad. I think we both know why,
and there is enough disappointment in myself
without continuing to reinvigorate it
with words.  I ask only this:
Walk deliberately toward it.
Trip and fall, if it comes to it, but take no prisoners, least of all him.
Expose panties. Jump back up. Make a joke out of the spill,
scrappy like I know you must be.
Then keep on stepping high.
Keep him in gentle accord.
Keep yourself there too.
Above all, breathe. The dark nights for both of you
will soften their edges, and the morning-glory
will yawn again each dawn to remind you that you are as glorious.
Send me a postcard from beyond the moon.
I hung out there myself once.
We’ll regale together this love supreme that
keeps us all rallying for one another.

 

PLEASE visit  http://kidneyforhans.com/  and do a girl a solid.

 

Morning-glory: A Reluctant Aubade

That day one summer long ago,

my first here on this plane,

when snatched a glimpse did I the break of Morning

and watched him from my window,

a dazzling hue arrested my eyes. I saw him.

He crept upon the slumbering earth,

roving in quiet majesty.

That day in summer did I catch his dusty blush

and hold his secrets in my silence. He moved

before me in a grassland clearance

and smiled. And whereupon that smile stole

my heart, he paraded his progeny,

the vineyards and wheat beds,

the fields of heather.

Quite in his glory, onward did Morning creep like a

feline thief as I watched him that day in summer.

Conducted he the meeting of rays to rain on

rooftops. Morning knelt when he caught sight of the

ground below on which rested a wet leaf and a

chilly worm. Victim to an unusual cold was the tiny

creature, changing tempos of its journey, slowing

to decipher a warmer place.

And in his paternal clemency, Morning scooped

it up in his cradled palms and blew

a warming breath; the tiniest of treasures for a

journeyed worm.

And I wept for Morning’s uncommon gentleness

and called him God.

I clung to kind Morning that day in summer.

Swallowed him I tried, poured him over me

to lose myself within him, a baptism, a fornication.

He passed across my heart,

perched me on a high ridge

that I might watch him move through the trees

and provoke them to dance.

Morning sprinkled his sun

over the sea and me. And out of his

sun-drenched gourd

drank I, and became like a drunkard.

Till distorted Morning became and began to retreat.

Did my clinging turn him from me? I feared my part in this.

And all on earth stilled.

A whippoorwill sang, calling out to

the dusky mystery.

I gripped fast the hem of Morning’s garment,

pleading to be rescued from these coming terrors.

And Morning spoke, bidding me fear not

the illusory monsters of the dark.

“They are but reflections of your fears,”

he spoke. And Morning called himself not God.

“Merely a tilling limb,” he sang. “Night being the humble other.

Welcome her.”

And his sun was no more.

My heart ruptured an ulcer of grief.

I felt Morning’s treason,

and stood scorned and afraid.

 

 

So Night advanced, the temptress.

I recoiled and cursed Morning, seeking refuge

where I might amid blooming dogwoods

and blushing primrose.

Thus from beyond the clouds,

a curtain drawn for a diva,

sauntered her infamous moon,

the blood moon,

great and glorious, rendering ghost stories.

And my fear alighted in anticipation

of phantoms that walk the earth. Of fallen angels

and wraiths who haunt the body and gust the rivers.

Of skies so black as would harrow up the soul of

Proserpine herself, and make her a

crying worshipper of the light.

Treasonous Morning was wrong.

Night was nothing humble.

Strut was Night’s word.

And she snagged me. Setting ablaze the sky with

trinkets of opal and ice, Night worked

in her artful splendor,

sucking up the fugue of day, to spit forth a grand

suite for twilight.

Before me nocturnal creatures frolicked and showed me

her masterwork of intuition, vivid dreams,

and womanly magic,

all while rending each other to the bone,

a reptilian dance of survival that only Night’s drape occasioned.

The Dead of dark.

The Nameless apprehension of shadows.

Fireflies, which gave me the tiniest tease of light,

ornamented evergreens like a Christmas tree.

Night wrapped me in her lithe black stole,

— glamour queen! —

and caused me to fall in violet love.

There I indulged in the dark enigma of her,

drowned myself in her inky nectar

to wear her on me,

and thought no more on His Majesty the Morning.

Till, while in my reverie, a spell of time I could not name,

but seemed the blink of an eye,

Night’s tide began to abate, her moon to blanch,

and before my witness, faded

from her gaudy grandeur to a limp gray.

My spirit caved as I prophesied a second betrayal.

Night closed her eyes,

without goodbye, without balm,

and fell to her cycled quietus.

 

 

Serenely did sigh a swallow’s

sweet twitters and song.

Softly did burst into bloom the magnificent

morning-glory flower.

And whereupon the inconstant Night yielded to

Morning’s inconstant mien, leaving me

to endure the insufferable inconstancy,

once more did I weep,

for loved them both did I that day

in summer long ago,

and for the days to come,

of every season.

And sorrowed yet surrendered

that seize them each my prisoner

in selfish grip I could not,

and call them

my very

own.

Angela Carole Brown is the author of three published books, The Assassination of Gabriel Champion, The Kidney Journals: Memoirs of a Desperate Lifesaver, and Trading Fours, and has produced several albums of music and a yoga/mindfulness CD.   Bindi Girl Chronicles is her writing blog.   Follow her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram & YouTube.