In 2017, I…
Lost my father.
Lost my brother, too, in a manner of speaking.
Found my voice as a poet.
Found my brother.
Endured whiplash, of both the physical and the emotional brand.
Found a spiritual home for myself, for the first time ever.
Got spooked by the nature trail that had given me life.
Thought about my father.
Read some of the most amazing books of fiction, memoir, and poetry that I’ve ever read.
Lost my feline girl (though technically it was at the end of 2016, but it was THE moment that launched this longest year).
Blocked out the White Noise of the White House.
Watched my city burn, and a few others nearly drown, while feeling the haunting wail of a planet in trouble.
Witnessed the unfettered power of #metoo, and the spiritual vacuum cleaner that got unleashed.
Lost my brother again.
Bonded with family in an unprecedented and crucial way.
Found baby bro yet again.
Learned to love and let go in equal measure.
Re-learned it every single day.
Experienced pain and beauty in fairly even amounts.
Thought about my father.
Wrote about my father.
Conquered my fear of the nature trail (had to do with a bobcat sighting), and drew her into my bosom again, after nearly a year without her.
Lost more and more people, in too heartbreaking a number.
Had a talk with Death. It was a come-to-Jesus moment, with a few side-eyes between us.
Got back to yoga (how I missed you, old friend).
Did Goat yoga! (seriously, Google it)
Wrote my 1st short story.
Wrote my 118th short story…and 30 poems.
Deemed myself officially (if it’s not obvious by now) addicted, fixated, obsessed with words; an addiction from which I hope to never recover.
Submitted pieces like a mo-fo.
Never wavered. I am a poet. A wordsmith. Begone now, before someone drops a house on you!
Had/did/received loads of healing, of both the spiritual and the biological kind.
Grew more thankful, and more in love with the random nature of life (that helps in the forgiveness department).
Felt my age.
Killed a plant.
Made a movie with my orchestra (a very sick day, but too much irreverent fun).
Had the exhilarating honor to interview some amazing wellness-seeking human beings for a tiny documentary I made.
Had the exhilarating honor to be interviewed by a couple of amazing young women for a grand and extraordinary documentary that they made, with 2017 being the launching year for screenings all over the world. #thegoddessproject
Lived up to my hype.
Didn’t live up to my hype.
Failed my hype miserably.
Decided that hype was not a word worthy of my time.
Talked to my father, my mother, my stepfather, the ancestors, all those who have left this earth but are never far, and who give me living tips daily (sorry, Daddy, that you had to join the League of Gentle Council. Really thought you’d be the one to make it to 100).
Wrote these thoughts to usher out an old, and to usher in a new. To ritualize the idea of rebirth, renewal, and restoration, because I am a New Year’s baby, and so it is in my DNA to ritualize, to chant, to pray, to dance, to give auspiciousness to the concept of new beginnings and rites of passage, to participate in burning bowl rituals, to summon the rains and the gods, to burn sage, to close my eyes, shut off the valve and listen. Listen to the wind in the trees tell me what I need to know next, what I need to do next, how I need to sing next. And then I sing.
The very last thing I did in 2017 was sing. As it has been, since forever ago and auld lang syne. I sang, and sang.
And baby brother is home. Nestled in all the love his family has to give. We get to remember my father together.
All of us. Together.
Welcome 2018. Be nice now.
Happy Birthday Phone Message 1/1/92. Hilarious chaos ensues. But best of all, my father’s voice.